it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Damn victory sex feels great
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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