bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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