Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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