Don't you send me to vm
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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