Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
