have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Randomize