you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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