I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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