i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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