Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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