Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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