my vag is so smooth its legendary
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
