Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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