he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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