i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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