I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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