I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
