Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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