sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize