is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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