I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize