I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize