Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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