I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Drunk is a universal language darling
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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