so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
