New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
