i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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