my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
