What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize