Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
