it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
