Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So apparently I’m into choking now
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
