Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
