What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
