very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Help. Why am I so naked?
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