so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
