Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i out mim tonsoeep
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