it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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