we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
