Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
