North Korea, Best Korea!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
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