Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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