anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
