Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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