Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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