It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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