im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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