i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
