fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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