So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She needs sedatives and a leash
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
