Nicole vs. Life
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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