I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
