She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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