Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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