just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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