2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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