I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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