She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
