So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
