So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
