I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
