i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Two words: blizzard sex
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
