But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
