I didn't shave. On purpose
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
