I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
