either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
