somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize