I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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