Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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