I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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