Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
