Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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